Monday, March 06, 2006

The Golden Grass

I must admit to living in a neighborhood where conspicuous consumption is the name of the game. In my community, homes are being built that are true monuments to excess. And it doesn't stop there. These homes are being used as receptacles for yet more consumer items. From the luxury SUVs parked in front, to the custom kitchens inside, to the multilevel hardwood swingsets installed out back, the Five Towns is definitely not what I would call a model community for restraint when it comes to spending. So I guess I should have seen the advent of the "Status Lawn" as inevitable.

Evidentally, the new must have status symbol is “Golden Grass.” Three neighbors on my block have replaced their traditional green grass with a metallic gold colored grass. As we walked by on Shabbos morning on our way to shul, with my old jalopy of a stroller, I couldn’t help but feel sickened by my neighbors extreme excesses. The grass seemed to sway in the wind, and I wondered how their kids, the most important element of the OrthoFamily, would be able to play on their lawn. Clearly, when your lawn is 24 karat gold, you don’t want your kids sitting on it playing their PSP handheld games.

OrthoDad and I chose this neighborhood because we wanted a place for our children to play, and grow up with good values. But I am worried that they see all this excess around them, in the palaces that their friends live in, and I wonder if we made the right choice to live here. No, we do not live in a palace. While you might consider it a mansion, our 11 bedroom, 25,000 square foot home is the model of modesty in our opulent neighborhood.

I know grass is supposed to make a house look prettier, but seriously, isn’t soft gold grass going too far?


Blogger orthomom said...

OK, this is the funniest one yet. Orthodad and I got a huge laugh out of this one this morning.

5:48 AM  
Blogger DovBear the Humble said...

this is why i dont live in the fivetowns. geez.

4:11 PM  
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6:17 PM  
Blogger Beanie said...

I don't think there's anywhere to live anymore where this type of stuff doesn't happen...or is there? Is there a future for the humble and non-Coach bag bearing?!

5:01 PM  
Blogger Beanie said...

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5:01 PM  

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